Preparing to move, preparing for baby = EXHAUSTING

I don't even know how to begin this post, I am way to tired.  My body is tired and my brain is tired and all I want to do is relax!  I really hope I can do that tomorrow.  I've been pretty lazy about getting ready for baby and realized how close it is and that I should start to get some stuff done!  So, I've been doing registries and shopping and making lists and lots of other things.  Not only am I doing what should have been spread out over the past two months and continued on from there in regards to baby preparations, my husband and I are moving!  So that is also taking alot of planning and list making and calling people and making sure everything is done on time.  It is all so exciting but so very exhausting in my prego state. 

Procrastination is a weak point for me.  I don't like having alot of time to get things done because then it seems as though time moves slowly, so I foolishly always wait until the last minute.  Unfortunately there are things I should do that I forget about because I don't do them right away and then it is too late.  Such as new mother birthing classes.  I should have started those earlier this month and then they would have gone into March, but no I waited too long and now have no choice but to do the condensed 2 day version, probably without Brandon there because of work.  I also have a few appointments to make that I have put off and have to get done this next week.  On top of that I have two weeks to prep for moving and 2 months to prep for baby.

Oh we found out recently, it is a boy!  I started a scrap book with the ultrasound pictures and really hope to get some professional prego pics done soon, but I don't know where I am going to fit that in.  I also found out that my insurance will not cover circumcision... huge bummer, so I have to figure out how much that will cost me.  Then Brandon needs to decide if it is worth it for us to dish out the money for that or not. 

I know there is more but my mind is all so jumbled up and I can't think... I should go to bed.

Oh yeah, I've been told to expect a punishment for procrastinating on so many things.  I don't know when as our lives are so busy we barely find time to do anything together right now, but I'm sure it won't be pleasent and it will be a big reminder that I have responsibilities that need attending in a timely manner, not whenever the hell I please.

Sleep Sex, not sleep walking

So two nights ago I had the best sex I''ve had in a long time, and probably the most wild too.  The problem is that both Brandon and I were half asleep when it happened and neither of us remember alot about it.  We both have a few snapshots of what we did and from that we've been able to piece it together a bit.

I remember waking up to Brandon rubbing my clit and me moaning and squirming a bit.  I think it went on for a while because I remember waking up and then falling back asleep and then waking up again.  The next thing I remember is Brandon putting his fingers up to my mouth and telling me to "taste".  He did this at least 2 times, maybe more and I don't know if he was just touching me at this point or finger fucking me.  I was still mostly asleep at this point I think.  Brandon remembers telling me to touch myself after that and I vaguely remember doing that.  I think he also asked me if I wanted to have sex and I don't know what I said but the next thing I remember is Brandon inside me and I'm on my back and he's asking me if I want to turn around and get on all fours.  That is my favorite position and I remember doing just that and I remember it being fantastic.  That is about all we've remembered so far. 

I think it is quite hilarious that what I think was the best, most wild sex we've had in a while we were both mostly asleep for.  It also cracks me up that even in our sleep Brandon is very dominant and I am very submissive.  I guess it really is in our nature.

Has anyone else had this or something similar happen to them?

Sex, Spanking, Humiliation

Well, it turns out that I was wrong.  It also turns out that Brandon reads my blog posts!  He wasn't very happy with my last post.  He said it made it seem like he wasn't taking care of my needs, when in reality we've both been busy running of this way or that and then when we get home and we've wound down we are both too tired to really do anything worth doing.  He was also angry that I hadn't made my needs clear to him and that I had chosen to blog about my frustration without telling him how I felt before hand.  So I was wrong, and I apologize to Brandon and to my few readers for making him seem less than what he is.

Needless to say I got what I asked for... and more.  It was nothing short of amazing and absolutely everything I'd been wanting.  I was being "punished" for my lack of communication and for my poor portrayal of him.  For each sub there is that little thing that just immediately shuts your mind off and your entire body goes into submission.  Mine is a rough grabbing of my hair and pulling back of my head so that I can't move and I know I am not in charge.  Brandon knows this I think.  It is one of the few things that I will not playfully resist him in.  It is his sudden way of saying "I'm in charge and don't you forget it!" and I respond with silence and submission.  Next on that list of things that bring me into that submissive mindset very quickly is the face slap.  For me that combines pain and humiliation and it puts me in my place better than anything else.  If Brandon ever wanted a quick fix to my brattiness all he has to do is pull my head back with a fist full of hair place his hand soflty on my cheek and then pull it back and bring it back down hard.  Not only does that get my attention but I would be malleable clay in his hands.  Do all this with me naked and I could easily go into subspace after a few well placed slaps and humiliating words.  All of this to say that this is exactly what he did last night and it was only the start.  He gave me a well spanked bottom and he exerted his dominance over me even in the great sex we had afterward with me on my hands and knees and my face pressed into the pillow, Brandon's hands on my hips holding me in place as he thrust deep inside me.  Oh it was bliss!

Brandon likes when I struggle a bit and he has to hold me down to have sex with me.  It isn't about any kind of rape fantasy or anything.  I think it is more about the struggle for dominance that ends with him winning that he likes.  I like it too.  It is fun to try and think of new ways to squirm out of his grasp, or keep my legs closed as he tries to pry them open.  I have no hope of ever winning.  He is so much stronger and faster than me.  I always give it my true best shot too until I know I've been conquered and then I submit.  The only thing that I can do to ruin this little game of ours is to become a limp doll, completely and totally shut off.  That is the only advantage that I have, but I'll never use it because I want sex just as much as he does and I want to eventually submit just as he wants to prove his dominance over me.

So last night I got more than I asked for, but all that I needed.  Greedy little me wants more soon though!

I'm at that point...

I haven't posted anything in a while.  I've been kind of lurking I guess, vicariously living through all of you what I myself am not getting.  It has been a while since I last got a spanking of any kind.  I'm pretty much aching for one. I think Brandon is nervous about it hurting the baby or something, he's kind of getting the same way about sex too.  Logically he knows that neither will do any harm (at least to the baby in my tummy) but the bigger I get and the more he can feel this little bugger kick the more he stays away from any kind of sexual/spanking activity.  I've tried everything I know!  I've been a pretty bad girl lately just to get a reaction from him, and now I'm feeling pretty bad about it.  I told myself I'd shape up and be a good girl and do what I'm told, but I still want that spanking!  I'm totally due for one.  I think I'll just have to ask.

I resorted to putting "Have SEX!" on our To Do list, maybe I should also put "Spank Alice!" on there.  So today I'm going to do the laundry that I have let back up, wash the dishes that I purposefully left in the sink last night, make sure to put away my toilettries (hairbrush, makeup, hair dryer, etc.) and I'll be sure that the bedroom is a nice sanctuary for him when he gets home from work this evening.  Maybe if I'm a good girl he will be inclined to give me what I want when I ask for it.  Asking is going to take alot of courage though.  I hate asking because to me it defeats the purpose.  If I have to ask for it I am in control, but I want the spanking so that I can feel him exerting his control over me.  However, that need for pain I mentioned last post is really getting me to that point that I will beg on my hands and knees if I have to.

Does/has anyone else ever had this problem? How did you deal with it?

Happy spanking to the rest of you who are lucky enough to get it!