Was I confused, or testing?

Long ago, when I was certain that a list of rules and punishments was needed, Brandon had made such a list.  Now it is no longer in use because that simply isn't us.  Yes, some of those things remain as expectations or guidelines, but we don't consider them hard and fast rules anymore.  On that list there were some obvious things like take a shower at least every other day, brush my teeth, wash my face, etc.  Also my chores existed on that list, clean the kitchen, vacuum, keep our bedroom as a place to relax and unwind.  All these things remain as expectations.  I know that if I don't do these things there will either be a very disappointed husband, or a sore bottom.  However, there had been other more fun/sexual things on that list, one of which was that I am not allowed to use my vibrator without gaining permission first.  As we threw out the list and stuck with what worked for us I assumed that those sexual rules had been tossed aside as well, including the vibrator rule.  I was very wrong.  The other day I used it while he was at work and forgot to put it away afterward.  Needless to say he found it lying on the bed when he got home.  He seemed slightly annoyed and he did spank me for it, but I thought he was spanking me because I left it out.  I do know he doesn't like it if I leave things lying around.  Well, I was wrong again.  Yesterday I again used it while he was at work and I forgot to put it away, again.  He wasn't aware of that though because it had gotten stuck under the blanket on our bed and he didn't see it.  Somehow we were talking about dildos and I playfully said "Oh! That reminds me, I have to go put something away."  Brandon then scowled at me and told me I was in trouble.  I smiled 'cause I thought he was joking and just brushed it off while coyly asking "Why?"

"Because you didn't ask permission." He stated, very seriously.  It still took me a moment to realize that he was serious and not playing.  When I realized this I suddenly felt very horrible.

"Do you seriously want me to ask you first?"  My voice betrayed the shock I felt, I'm sure.

"Yes! Why do you think I spanked you the other day?"

"Oh, I guess I thought, well I thought that when we threw out the rules that one went with them.  I'm really sorry!  I promise to ask from now on."  I really did feel horrible.  I wished he would spank me again so that I could pay penance and be forgiven.  I thought of all the times that I used it without asking permission and he never knew.  And he never knew because I normally put the vibrator back where it belonged and didn't tell him that I had used it.  Yesterday I thought I'd just been confused, but today as I think about it more I am sure I knew on some level that he didn't want me using it without asking him.  I remember him saying once that all my sexual pleasure belongs to him and that is why I must ask permission first.  Was I ignoring that on purpose, or was I really confused?  I think now I was ignoring it on purpose because I was either too lazy to ask permission or too embarrassed.  This has now been added to the "list" in my mind of things he expects of me.

(We call them expectations because if for some reason I just don't meet one or two of them then he may be disappointed slightly, but I won't be punished for it.  For example: I am to keep the kitchen clean and dishes washed every day, however, there are some days, not often, that I don't have time, or the energy to get it done.  He may then tell me that I have no choice tomorrow, I must get that kitchen clean, but I won't be punished for not getting it done that day.  I'm almost sure that if I don't get it done the next day that since he told me specifically that I absolutely had to finish it then I would be punished for it.  I haven't tested that though, and I don't think I want to.)