Formspring.me #1: A Day In the Life of a Bondmate

Formspring.me question #1:

Hi Alice ... I see you are a mommy and i was wondering ... How do you fit your lifestyle into your everyday life and maintain your submissive nature?


The easiest way for me to answer this question is to walk you through a day in my life.

My day starts at 8:30 in the morning when Brandon is getting up to get ready for work. I get up and go to the kitchen to make his breakfast and fix a lunch for him to take to work with him. Sometimes our baby, lil' Cuddle Bug, wakes up about this time too so I also fix him a bottle, change his diaper and get him dressed for the day. If he is awake I then hand him off to Brandon (who is normally showered and dressed by this time) along with the bottle while I finish breakfast and fixing lunch. I am normally done with both by 8:50ish and take Brandon his breakfast and then also take over feeding CB (Cuddle Bug). Brandon is out the door by 9:10, but before he leaves he tells me what he wants me to do that day. Most of the time he leaves 2 or 3 chores to be done. Cleaning the kitchen is almost always one of them. An apartment kitchen is big enough to cook in, but small enough that when you do, it becomes a disaster zone. Very rarely Brandon will tell me not to do anything but care for CB and take a nap when I can. After he leaves I finish feeding CB and he goes back down for a nap at this time. Depending on what my responsibilities are for the day I either relax at this time (perhaps take a nap) or I (try to) start in on my chores (often this is put off until much later).

If I do anything other than stay home with CB and do my chores or relax then I am to text Brandon to let him know what I am doing. Sometimes he will nix my plans, but not often. Also, if I get the urge to masturbate then I must text him and ask for permission. Being the highly sexual being that I am, but also being very embarrassed by asking for permission, I do this about twice a week.

Hopefully by the time Brandon gets home at 5:30pm I have completed the tasks he assigned, taken a shower, gotten dressed, and done something with my hair. Sometimes I find myself in a rebellious mood and don't do as he asked, but this doesn't happen very much. Although waiting till the last minute to do my chores is kind of a common occurrence. When Brandon gets home I start dinner, fix him a huge mug full of coca cola, and possibly a snack if dinner is going to take more than an hour.

The rest of the evening is spent in us trading CB between us and feeding him a bottle. We also spend time together watching a movie, or playing around, or just being near each other but doing separate things. At 11pm CB goes to bed and Brandon and I get to spend more quality time together. Last night this consisted of my laying around in my panties teasing him with little shakes of my bottom and him trying to get them off of me. Sometimes this time is spent playing card games, or computer games together, or just cuddling and talking.

As you can see our daily life is rather vanilla-ish. There are no rituals or rules that outwardly display our D/s lifestyle. I don't kneel when he comes through the door home from work, I don't ask permission to leave the room he is in, or to use the bathroom, or even ask him what I should cook for dinner. If he doesn't want me to leave the room he tells me to stay, if he wants something specific for dinner or doesn't want what I had decided to cook he tells me to make something different. I don't call him Master or Sir. I don't wear a collar, or offer sexual favors every morning or night. What I do is allow him to manage my life. He tells me what to do and I (most of the time) do it. If he has a problem with something I've done he tells me, I correct it or promise not to do it in the future and we move on.

My submission is in the way I relate to Brandon. I run things by him before I make plans for the both of us or for myself. I do the chores he's asked me to do. I put his needs before mine. I serve him. None of this is affected by CB being around. In fact our way of living D/s actually makes life easier with CB. I know what is expected of me and what will happen if I fail to meet those expectations.

Right after CB was born our D/s took the back burner for about a month or a little over. Brandon did not tell me what to do each day before leaving for work, he didn't ask me to make him breakfast in the morning, or expect me to get his lunch ready. He let me live in zone of just focusing on CB and myself. It was me who decided that I needed his control back in my life. I told him that I needed him to manage me more. It helps me focus my day, knowing what he wants me to do and doing that instead of doing what I want to do (which would probably be sleep all day at this point).

So I guess all this to say that because my submission is more in the way that I relate to him in everyday matters than in rituals and rules it is fairly easy to outwardly live our D/s even with a baby, and I imagine it won't change much as he grows older or we have more children.

I hope this answered your question!