My heart breaks for you

Brandon,

as this summer draws to an end I can't help but remember where I was just one year ago.  I wasn't with you where I belong.  I was in the arms of another man, hating you, trying to forget you.  I wasn't happy with how my life was going, but the anger I felt towards you made me believe that I was happy.  I was so defiant and rebellious.  I wanted nothing more than for you to disappear.  And right now the tears are falling freely as my heart breaks for the pain I put you through, for the way I shattered your heart, for the way I treated you like dirt.

I am so glad you didn't give up on me.  You could have.  You could have left me to my own fate of perpetual unhappiness.  I'll never understand why you didn't let anger and hate consume you.  Somehow you found it in you to love me inspite of everything I'd done to you.  I will never ever forget that.

I wish you were here with me right now so that you could hold me as I cry for you.  Is that selfish of me?  Right now I am completely overcome with regret, sorrow, and shame.  Is it selfish for me to want comfort from you?  You whom I hurt so badly.

I love you more than words can express.  I'll never leave you again, I am yours forever.  Your pain, joy, sorrow, and happiness are also mine.  I promise that no matter what I will be by your side, at your feet, behind you or in front of you, wherever you wish me to be, but I will never leave you, not even if you tell me to go.  I love with my whole heart, mind, and soul.

Your's completely forever,
Alice