Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
~1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love and marriage are dying concepts. Both have become disposable. Love is now equated with infatuation, something that comes and goes. And as marriages are built on this kind of love, they also are fleeting, subject to the whims and desires of the two people involved. The concept that love takes work, and grows, changes, and matures within a relationship has become old fashioned.
Marriage is supposed to be a commitment to love each other until death. A love like this takes work, total commitment, unselfishness, and patience. It requires completely giving yourself to each other, trust, and determination.
I know one couple in their late 40's that are getting married in the next few months. They've only known each other for a few months, but they've assured me that they really do love each other and are committed to each other. Both have been divorced before, for understandable reasons in one case, and less understandable reasons in another. I'm very concerned that the basis for their up coming marriage is infatuation, puppy dog love, that will fade in time. I'm worried that when this fades they will realize that they don't truly love each other and the fights will ensue, and eventually another divorce will be added to their resume. I could be wrong, time will tell, but they hardly know each other and so I'm afraid that they are basing everything on feelings that will come and go. Now, even if they do wake up one day and realize the infatuation is gone and they are left with nothing, I hope they stay committed to each other and the relationship and allow love to grow between them.
Another couple I know that is getting married next spring is much younger, they will be entering their 20's at the time of their marriage. In complete opposition to the first couple I mentioned, I believe they have a firm grasp of what love is and how much work and commitment needs to be put into marriage to keep it strong and alive. This couple has great, wise people who are guiding them and teaching them what a strong, committed and loving relationship looks like. I can't wait to see where this journey into marriage takes them. I am so excited for them. Their commitment to each other is so apparent to everyone.
It makes me sad that love and marriage have become so diluted. I believe there is too much divorce in this country. Or too much divorce resulting from a lack of commitment and understanding of the work involved in loving each other till death. People are quick to marry, and quick to divorce, they let their emotions lead. Unfortunately these relationships are also deter the more logical thinking people from marriage. The examples provided by such fleeting love and marriage shows others that commitment means nothing, love comes and goes, and marriage is a farce.
When and why did it all change so much into something worth so little?
2 comments:
Agreed. Our microwave get it all quick, use it all up, paper plate, dispose of it culture we live in has negatively affected the level of patience and and depth of commitment necessary for marriage.
Very insightful commentary Alice.
Thank you BabyMan. I've been thinking about these things alot as I see so many marriages and just as many divorces. Brandon and I have made a commitment that divorce is not something we recognize as an option for either one of us. Whatever happens, we will work through it.
Alice
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