My submission is a gift...

Well, I broke my own rule of visiting blogs where I don't agree with most of what the writer says. Why did I do this? I was bored. I guess it was okay because it inspired this post! The writer wrote that the whole idea of "submission is a gift" is wrong. (No, this person didn't say "I think such and such is wrong" he said "it is wrong".) Anyway, I totally disagree, but I have to give him props because he made me think about why I disagree. Why do I believe that my submission is a gift that I gave to Brandon?


The simplest answer is this: Brandon did not take my submission by force, nor did he buy my submission with money, nor was it a trade of goods. So what does that leave? It only leaves that I gave it to him of my own free will, which can also be called a gift (especially since I didn't say "here's my submission, now you give me _________.").

The writer of the other blog compared it to marriage. When a man asks a woman to marry him and she says yes, was her agreement a gift? I think so (obviously he didn't). I looked back to my own marriage to Brandon. When he asked me to marry him I could have said no. In my opinion marriage is the giving of oneself to the other person. So, yes, I believe that when I said yes, of my own free will, then I did give Brandon a gift. The gift of myself. And in proposing marriage he offered to me the gift of himself, which I accepted gladly.

It was proposed on this other blog that those who say "submission is a gift" are trying to give themselves value when they actually think they have none. Although I do believe that we all do something similar to that in different area's of our lives, I don't think this is one of them. At least for me it isn't a way to give worth to myself when I feel worthless, it is simply a fact that I believe with all my heart to be true.

I also believe that domination is a gift given by the dominant to his/her submissive. So in my mind it isn't just a one way thing. I gifted my submission to Brandon, and he gifted his dominance to me. I suppose this could be seen as a trade of sorts, but I definitely don't see it that way.

I also don't expect everyone to agree with me. There are those who enjoy having their submission taken by force, in that case their submission might not be considered a gift. I'm sure there are some who do see it as a trade, and maybe some who really do get paid for it. So I think he was wrong to state as a general fact that the idea of submission being a gift is wrong, he may not see it that way, but that doesn't mean it isn't true for some people.