I have to say that since starting TTWD I have only felt a few times that I am at the mercy of Brandon. It isn't often that he exerts so much dominance that I understand that I don't have much choice, he's going to do what he wants to do whether I like it or not. Last night he made it abundantly clear that if he wants something he'll take it. Doesn't matter if I'm trying to catch up on sleep! I have to admit in the moment I was quite enjoying myself. He stuck the butt plug in me as we fooled around. He told me everything to do and everything not to do. He was rough, slapping my breasts, my face, pulling my hair, etc. I loved it! Not once did I want him to stop! Well, except for the fact that shortly before this he'd told me to go masturbate and I didn't really feel like having my pussy touched again, but I got over that quickly. Anyway, yes, to do all this he woke me up. It didn't matter much to me. I'd go back to sleep later... but later didn't come until freakin' 2:30am! If you are going to wake me up to take your pleasure you'd better be ready to deal with the baby so I can sleep later on! That's all I have to say on the matter.
I really am liking the intensity with which Brandon's dominance is growing though and if I had been able to go back to sleep until 2:30 then I would have been much happier. I absolutely loved what we did, but I'm a little ticked at the moment because I'm tired and I have way too much to do today to go take a nap.
5 comments:
So sorry about your father and that your child will miss having a grandfather he can relate to.
But try not to be too hard on your father. He has a major illness. Hope he gets some treatment.
Despite his illness, I am sorry for you that you had to grow up in such tough circumstances and I hope you're coping as well as you can.
Good luck.
FD
FD, It is terribly hard to be understanding of a disease that you can't see the effects of clearly. He's doing better, taking his meds and such, but for a long time he refused to be helped.
It took me a long time to recognize that my very low sense of self worth stemmed partly from my relationship with my father. Now that I recognize that I can start working on it.
As I said, I still love him, but it is sometimes very hard to like him.
Okay, I'll admit I hate when Asha wakes me up. I suffer from insomnia and once I'm awake I can't go back to sleep. But to his credit, he will always let me nap during the day if I really need to and look after Tornado.
As much as I hate it, though... the control and knowing I don't have a choice does give me a sense of security.
*hugs*
turiya
Brandon lets me nap too, but I don't like napping unless I absolutely need to. I feel like I'm wasting precious time. However, sometimes he makes me relax or lie down because I get cranky when I'm really tired.
I also loved the control and the feeling of my choice being taken away. I definitely wouldn't resist if he did it again. I don't like being tired though.
I used to feel that way too (like it was a waste of a day to take a nap). I ended up getting over that when I realized I can get more accomplished after having a nap than trying to do it while I'm tired. I still hate having to take naps, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.
*hugs*
turiya
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