A while ago I posted that we didn't use rules because we'd tried and it just didn't work for us. We used expectations instead, for example Brandon expects that I do the chores he assigns to me daily, or expects that in the morning I will get up and make his breakfast and lunch and that at night I will make his dinner. However, last night I asked him not necessarily for rules but for more accountability. I've been slacking off on alot of things and I felt that it just was getting worse because there were no consequences for not doing what I should. It wasn't too bad, but I could see it getting pretty bad if it wasn't stopped now. I wasn't slacking off in doing as I'm told, but other things like taking care of myself and making sure to clean up after myself. So when I asked him to hold me accountable he agreed and it looks like the rules are back. Some of them are redundant because I already do them but now they are out there as something that I could be disciplined for if I slacked off and didn't do it or forgot.
These new rules are something that I think will slowly form over time as Brandon sees an area in which I need accountability or guidance. For now this is what I have:
1. Complete the chores that Brandon assigns me each day.
2. Wash my face, and brush my teeth every morning and evening.
3. Be sure to throw away dirty diapers after changing baby boy. (I tend to leave them on the changing table and they end up making a pile before I take care of it, or Brandon ends up throwing them away.)
4. Be respectful in my actions and my speech.
I don't think that the morning ritual of making him breakfast and his lunch will be a rule because baby boy's needs come first in the morning. However, it is still something that I will try to be sure to do as often as I can because it really makes him feel loved.
So the rules are back. We'll see how it goes this time.
3 comments:
That's how I've been feeling too. I don't want or need a whole list of rules. They don't work for me, but recently I told Asha pretty much the same thing. I need to be held more accountable for things. For the most part he lets me just do what I do... I mean as far as cleaning I'm a bit of a nut about it anyway, but sometimes I let it go cause I'm tired or whatever and it just builds up and I get frustrated. So now I'm having to make a list for each day (since I'm the one who knows what needs to get done) and he checks at the end of the day to be sure it gets done.
It seems to be working so far. Hope your new plan works too.
*hugs*
turiya
Turiya, just knowing that disobeying him will get me into more trouble than before has me remembering to do everything I'm supposed to do. I think that means it is working.
Hi Alice,
I have now listed you at FSSW.com thank you. Would you please add us to your blog list and I will make you Feature Blog shortly?
Thank you so very much:)
Jayne
xx
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