Grow up!

Here is the conversation Brandon and I had last night as close as I can get it.  I took the liberty of adding in the parts that were unspoken, but understand between us because you can't see the looks, or hear the unspoken words that were passed to each other in those looks.


Him: You understand that if you don't do your chores tomorrow I'm taking your computer away from you, right?

Me: Yes. I'm sorry I didn't do them today.

Him: It's okay, I forgive you. You have to stop acting like a child though.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: When I get off work I want to come home to a woman not a child. I want to have sex with a woman, not a child.

Me: (hide my face in his chest)

Him: Are you okay?

Me: I feel like a scolded child.

Him: Well, I did scold you like you were a child. I'm sorry. (I think he was sorry that he'd had to do that. There was no actual regret in his voice and I don't think he would have taken it back and done it differently.)

Him: I like your childishness when you are playful, and goofy, and maybe a tiny bit bratty, but not when you are disobedient or throwing temper tantrums. (He tickles me here to prove his point about the playful childlikeness.)

Him: I don't want to have to constantly be telling you what you should do. You are a grown woman and you can see what needs to be done and I know you can do it.

Me: I didn't realize you don't like assigning me chores to do.

Him: It's not that I don't like it, but not all the time. I don't want to have to always be telling you what to do. You need to grow up. (OUCH)

Me: I'm sorry. It's just, well I like it.

Him: I know, but I can't always be on top of you to get things done. You know what I expect of you. I expect you to keep the house neat and clean. It really isn't that much work.

Me: I know.

Him: I'll keep giving you chores, but if I don't one day then I expect you to figure out for yourself what needs to be done and do it. Do you understand?

Me: (totally ashamed at this point and hiding amongst our pillows and his chest) Yes.

We briefly talked about this conversation again today.  It is understood that I have a very childlike nature but that I also have grown up responsibilities and that he won't tolerate the innappropriate brattiness, or temper tantrums, or the willful disobedience.  He likes it when I'm playful, and when I react to his tickling like a little girl would, but he wants me to recognize that I am not a child and that I do need to act my age in other areas.  I know that the cleaning of the house is really not a big deal.  It takes maybe 30 minutes per room, and thats if it is a disaster.  If I were to keep up on it every day then it'd only take about an hour each day to straighten the house and have it looking nice.  He does appreciate the hard work that I put into caring for our son and cleaning and cooking, he just doesn't want to have to deal with a willful and disobedient child as much as he has lately.  For some reason I've been fighting with my submission alot lately.  I both want to obey and submit and be good, and at the same time I get angry and annoyed and I want to lash out.  I'll save that for another post though.