IT'S NOT FAIR!

It definitely wasn't my precious baby's fault, but you know how a bunch of things all kinda simmer inside you and then one little thing, possibly totally unrelated to anything else, sends it all boiling over the top? Yeah, that happened this morning.


Our baby boy is teething. He isn't really in a lot of pain, just some discomfort I think. I mean, he isn't crying or fussing a lot instead he's very smiley and happy, but the discomfort is causing some irregularity I think. The past few days he's been waking up at or around 5am… I don't think he's necessarily hungry because for the past month or so he's gotten into a routine of sleeping a decent 7 or 8 hours each night, sometimes even 9 hours, so I think it is due to the discomfort he feels from the teething. I get up and I feed him and he falls back asleep easily enough, and then I go back to bed and fall asleep just as fast. No biggie, I had expected much worse before he was born so I'm grateful he only wakes up once each night (or morning, I say night because I'm still sleeping).

Yesterday was bad though. Not only did he wake up at 5am, and then again at 9am (not bad right?) he then spent the rest of the day being difficult. I would try feeding him but he'd get his hands in the way, either knocking the bottle out of his mouth or getting his hands in his mouth before the bottle. He'd take little 30 minute- 45 minute naps… normally his naps are at least 2 hours, and I'm pretty sure he only took 2 of those little catnaps. I finally got him to go to sleep around 5pm and then he slept until about 9:15pm. Very nice long nap that should have been at noon or 1pm. Anyway, I figured this wouldn't cause a problem because he'd barely slept at all the whole day and I'm sure he was still very tired. I was partly right, he was still very tired, but he started up his whole fussy while smiling thing. Meaning he was very content to be held and played with, but try and feed him the bottle you know he wants and he'd frantically drink while flailing his arms about and knocking the bottle away. It got very frustrating. He ended up staying up past midnight (his bedtime is usually 11pm and he normally goes to sleep right away).

Who dealt with him all day yesterday? Me.
Who stayed up past midnight with him? Me.
Who got up at 5am this morning with him? Me.
Who then got woken up to cook breakfast and fix a lunch at 8:30am? Me.
Who was a grouch? Me.
And who decided it was all totally unfair that all the answers to those questions were the same and then decided to throw a fit about it? ME!
And who was hoping for sympathy because of that fit? Me.

Did I get it? Of course not. Now I see, in a clearer state of mind, that those who throw childish fits do not get coddled or sympathetic hugs. No, they get a stern "change your attitude" and a cold shoulder and are left crying as the person they wanted sympathy from walks out the door to go to work so that that silly girl, yes the one crying like a child on the floor, can buy food to put on the table.

I wasn't quite to that clear state of mind when I called and apologized, even though I really didn't want to. I was only apologizing because I didn't want Brandon to be mad at me, not because I really was sorry for the way I acted.

And to be fair, because that's what this is all about, Brandon did help me with mister cranky pants when he got home from work yesterday.

So to be completely fair, there really isn't anything unfair about it. I just thought it was unfair and thus raged about its unfairness, which in turn ended up with me realizing that my grouchiness and temper tantrum was the only unfair thing about it all.  Brandon should have been saying "It's not fair", not me.

PS  I did truly apologize before I got off the phone with him, it just started out as a fake apology.