Alice in Wonderland

I have struggled with the idea of starting this blog for a while.  I am afraid.  I am afraid of being found out, of sharing my deepest darkest secret(s), of being ridiculed and rejected, but as it turned out I was more afraid of being alone.  I have read, and visited, and observed the world of "blogging" and I see people who share in this world what they cannot in the real world.  I see others come and find them and sympathize, and relate, and encourage, and in this world they become friends offering eachother advice and support.  I saw all this and I wanted it.  So here I am internet world!

My name is Alice.  I am 24 years old.  I am married to a wonderful husband who supports me, leads me, teaches me, and loves me unconditionally.  Together we face a world of unknowns knowing only that we have eachother.  We are embarking on a new experience as we prepare to welcome a little baby into our family this spring and we are excited and terrified at the same time.  There are times when I must encourage him and remind him that we will be okay, that he will be a wonderful father, and there are times when he must remind me that I will be a wonderful mother.  Together we face our fears, and hold on to our hopes.  It is only together that we survive, apart we would die.

My husband leads me in this marriage of ours.  I submit, but only to him.  I am headstrong, stubborn, willful, and it is only out of my deep love for him that I find the desire, the need to submit.  There are many titles out here in this world, but I choose to label myself with none of them.  You could call me a "spanko" for I love a good spanking, but that is not who I am.  You could say that my husband and I have a D/s relationship or a DD relationship, but again those are only facets of our relationship.  It is hard for me to put this out there.  I fear rejection more than anything, but I know that although rejection may come, acceptance will also come.  We enjoy spanking, we enjoy bondage, we enjoy discipline.  I enjoy submitting, and he enoys accepting my submission.  We are confident in who we are and we are happy with what we do.  Not every day is the same as the last, each one brings a different level.  I would be his slave if that is what he wanted of me.  I accept the dominance he exerts over me, whether it be more or less demanding.  This is what we do.

I begin this adventure to speak openly about these things, but also to express anything and everything my heart desires.  I do this openly, but secretly.  I do not trust easily and so I do not share easily, but I find myself needing to express many things without fear of familly, or repercussions.  My future in this new world brings many things to ponder and I hope you will ponder them with me.