The Gift of Submission...

I believe that at the core of any Dominate/submissive relationship there needs to be a good foundation of trust. Trust is not something that we just give away to anyone. Trust is developed, earned, or rewarded to a person who we feel has proven themselves to be trustworthy. D/s relationships require trust to survive the intensity that they often present for we do not just play with the body, but the mind as well. I have heard it said many times that submission (or domination for that matter) is not an outward act of the body but a state of mind that then presents itself in actions and words. Just as trust is a gift not freely given, submission is also a gift to be carefully guarded and carefully given away. How often do we all forget this simple yet important truth! Yes, Dominant and submissive alike are prone to forget how precious and fragile a gift this is. Dominants demand submission from a sub as if all the subs in the world are theirs to command. Submissives mistakenly believe that it is very unsubmissive of them to withhold their submission from any Dominant that crosses their path. In this way submissives are often treated without care, and the beauty of D/s is lost.

As we grow up from little tikes to young men and women we learn and are taught not to trust. It is generally accepted that every person will lie to you, whether it be about something very important or something inconsequential. We hold our trust deep within us and we find it hard to bestow it upon anyone. Why do we not do the same with our submission then? Are we so eager to prove just how submissive we can be? Must we always be competing to see who is more submissive? We read everywhere and hear all the respected members of this community say over and over again, each person is different and will Dominate or submit in completely different ways. Yet we are always comparing ourselves to other people! Unfortunately it is human nature that we fight when we make the choice to be content in who we are and what we do. To get back to the point here, I am sure that we can all agree that submission follows our placement of trust in someone. Does it not make sense then that submission be held onto and guarded almost more fiercely than our trust? Be very careful of the “Dominants” that attempt to bypass the earning of trust and thus the reward of our gift of submission for they do not care about you, only about themselves. Submissives be careful to whom you give this gift because once it is given it is hard to take back and you will not always come out of such an ordeal without mental scars.

There are so many other things to say along with this, but I will save those for another post at another time. Also, I wish to say that I believe along with submission being a gift, Domination is a gift as well and ought to be treated with reverence and care just as the gift of submission ought to be treated. I write this from the submissive point of view because that is what I know, but I say that just as submission is to be treasured and guarded, so is Domination for it is a giving of ourselves to another human being that has the ability to hurt us.