Sunday, July 11

Exposing the asshole

I said I wouldn't, I was just going to anonymously refute the crap he spews, but the more I read on this guys blog the more I become convinced that he is a danger to the community as a whole and especially to impressionable minds that are new to TTWD. I can't take it anymore. He's such a self important asshole who thinks (and writes as though) he were the light in the darkness. He thinks he just knows it all and that he can judge whether something is "real" or not, or whether someone is good enough to call themselves "slave". It sickens me!


He contradicts himself over and over again. For example, he says that slaves shouldn't have limits, but then goes on to say that they do have some limits. He also speaks a lot about how online M/s isn't real, just a fantasy but then after a comment by one such slave he retracts and says, "well ok, 95% of all online M/s is fantasy, but I can see that yours is real". He talks a lot about social etiquette, but at the same time seems to be lacking it himself.

Also, after reading through a lot (not all) of his posts I didn't find a single one that talked about how a Master/Dom should or shouldn't treat their slave/sub. I did, however, find so many posts that tell a slave/sub how she (or he) should act.

He disguises his crap by throwing it in amongst posts that are sensible. One post in particular originally grabbed my attention where he says there is "room for everyone" and he welcomes the dabblers and lifestylers alike. I was impressed by his open-mindedness and so continued reading thinking I had found another great blog, but as I dug deeper and deeper I just found loads and loads of self-righteous crap.

In a post where he begins by saying that the internet is a wonderful place to find and send out information regarding this lifestyle and that he believes it to be a great tool in bringing it out from the underground in to the light he also starts bashing those who he says "claim to be slaves". Here is what he wrote: (also, this particular post is full of contradictions and circular reasoning)

"Many are writing about their "experiences" and I am not sure exactly what they are sharing. Allowing others insight into one's life is a risky proposition which one should be commended for. I believe these people have the most noble intents when they post their writings.

However, it is sad to see how many write stuff that is absolutely incorrect. They are voicing their opinion which might not be correct. This is especially true when one goes further out on the BDSM scale to the more extreme M/s relationship.

I have seem some who claim to be slaves when, in reading the blogs, I am led to believe that she (or he) is actually the dominant one. There are little insights such as the initiation of sex by the writer that leads me to this conclusion. While one might have that freedom in his or her relationship, it is not the proper place for a slave to do this. Most M/s relationships do not contain this freedom. Therefore, when one puts this forth as fact, it is misleading to newer people since they will believe this is what they can expect. It is not."

So first he admits that they are writing about their personal experiences, and then goes on to say that they are presenting it as fact for everyone and that it is incorrect. He even gives an example of a slave initiating sex and says that this leads him to believe that the slave is in fact the dominant one. Sorry for the language, but WHAT THE HELL? A Master or Dom could indeed allow his slave to initiate sex if that is what they so desire, they are the dominant one after all! Maybe that Master wants to know that his slave desires him as much as he desires her and so allows (or even commands) her to initiate sex every once in a while. This doesn't make her less of a slave, or him less dominant, it is simply a choice they have made in their personal life. Also, who is he to say what is or isn't the proper place of a slave? Is he like the Lord of all slaves and maker of all slaves rules and slave etiquette? Hell no!

He goes on to say, "Find people who continually share experience and cross reference that with other information that is available online."

So my experience must match up with others in order for it to be valid? Seriously? My experience is what my partner and me make it to be, we might incorporate things we've read online or other places into it, but it is still personal to us and unique to our situation and our preferences.

In another post on TPE he shares another example of "innapropriate slave behavior".

"I came across one blog where the blogger professed to be a slave. In reading her posts, I was amazed how controlling she was. She often wrote about how she was the instigator of things in her relationship. One post mentioned how she "attacked" her Master sexually when he came through the door. This is not something that a slave does. This shows that she retained the power over deciding when sex would occur. Not a slave's place. Again, we need to remember the extreme nature of a total power exchange. None is retained."

When I read that she is "controlling" and the "instigator" I don't think of something as simple as her attacking her Master sexually as he walks in the door. Is that the best example he has of her being so "un-slave like"? And umm, just because she attacked him sexually doesn't mean she retained any power except for the power to express herself. He still could say "no, not right now", it is his decision to go ahead and give her what she wants, doesn't that mean he still has the power?

Lets move on to how he views slaves. This makes me laugh and at the same time makes me angry and sad.

"I like to use the analogy to a piece of furniture. Often, property is valued based upon the uses that it provides someone. Furniture, for example, is useful only as long as it provides a benefit to the owner. When the item ceases to be useful, it is discarded in favor of something else. Or, as in the case with a sweater, it might be relegated to the back of a closet. Either way, the status of the item is based upon how useful it is."

That quote is from a post he wrote on slaves being property. (Part of the reason I wrote my own views on slaves being property.) He continues, "This is where many of the M/s relationship differ from the traditional world. Often, the feelings a slave gives are not reciprocated. As property, a slave is judged based upon how useful he or she is."

I can find so many areas in which he writes things that are so idiotic and could fill pages with quotes to demonstrate my point. I am done though. I am done reading his blog, and getting angry over the things he presents as the only true way to live this lifestyle. The blog is titled A Master's Viewpoint of the BDSM World authored by Dennis Najee. You can go read for yourself the crap he writes, but I wouldn't encourage you to waste your time unless you doubt what I say about him.

4 comments:

turiya said...

You forgot to mention that he claims there is no right way to do this lifestyle, while setting "rules" from his own point of view of where lines are drawn. Like this person can't be a slave because ___. And this woman isn't a sub because ____. Or a true Dom/Master wouldn't let his sub/slave do ___.

He's very opinionated from what I can see for someone who claims to be open-minded toward the various ways of doing TTWD.

Great post, though. I do agree he needed to be exposed.

*hugs*

turiya

Alice said...

True, I did miss that one. There are a million other things I didn't put in here to that show just how twisted (in a bad way) he is.

He is constantly saying one thing and then contradicting it with another. Sometimes it is in the same post, and sometimes it is several posts apart, but if you are paying even half attention it is obvious.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that he is telling others how they should live the lifestyle. He dictates what a slave should and shouldn't do, and although he says slaves are not better than subs, he also puts them up on a pedestal proclaiming them the elite few.

The very last post that I read was about a slaves limits. I think you found this one before I did, Turiya. He says that of course slaves have limits, and that mostly they have to do with psychological damage from their past. Then he says that if your master commands you to suck a homeless (yes he specifies homeless) guys cock then you have no right to call that a limit. He says that anyone can suck cock, that the act its self isn't a limit, and so it shouldn't matter or be of concern to the slave whose cock it is. So, what about the woman who can't suck cock period because of some past trauma? Or perhaps the woman who just won't suck just any guys cock because she's being smart and looking out for her health?

Whatever, this guy really is dangerous. I fear for the Doms/Masters who read his crap and take it as law. And I fear for the subs/slaves who fall into the clutches of such men. I hope that my small act of exposing him will save some, even one, from believing anything he says.

turiya said...

Maybe I'm just more sensitive about these things, but my first thought about sucking a homeless guys cock was... when was the last time he bathed? What kind of bacteria and disease is crawling all over him? He could have herpes, genital warts, or another STD that can be transmitted by mouth. Sucking someone's cock doesn't protect against STD's and other illnesses. It's completely irresponsible to even allow a girl to suck a homeless guys cock (even if she wants to), much less force her to do it.

And although he never stated that he did or would make a girl do these things (that I saw anyway), the fact that he mentions it as a possibility tells me that he endorses that kind of crap.

And I also like how you pointed out that he never talks about the things submissives should avoid... how to recognize an abusive Dom. That was a pretty good insight.

*hugs*

turiya

Alice said...

I agree, on all points.