I am first his wife.
Then I am his submissive.
Tuesday, July 6
First one, then the other
Today was a day of communication and clarification. One major thing that had gotten all mixed up and blurred beyond recognition was whether D/s was who we are, or a part of who we are. I don't think we've ever gotten to the point where we had to step back and ask ourselves this question seriously. Today I realized that my role as wife and my role as submissive had converged into one and were no longer seperate. On the one hand I loved that we've come this far, but on the other hand I realized that I wanted the two to stay somewhat seperate. As a submissive my only desire is to please and serve Brandon, but as his wife I want my husband to sometimes serve me and make me feel special by doing things for me that he wouldn't normally do. I do not identify as a slave, someone who's only thought all day is to serve her master, nor someone who's only purpose is to serve and please with not a care for myself. I submit to my husband 24/7, but I have desires and needs too! So, today we talked and we agreed to again draw a line that seperated the two allowing for the D/s part of our relationship to grow and develop while still maintaining an equality in our marriage (equality meaning that we recognize that we both need to serve each other and show each other how special the other is).
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6 comments:
I never understood the concept of slaves not caring about themselves and only focusing on their Masters. I mean I do identify as a slave (although I don't really talk about that on my blog so much anymore because for some reason it was causing trouble), but to me if I stop caring about myself and only care about him, I become a doormat. I couldn't never do that and I know Asha wouldn't want that.
Sure I do focus on serving him, but like he would say... he's not the only member of the family. And from his point of view slaves are people too... with emotions, desires and needs, and those shouldn't be discounted just because we're slaves. Another thing that Asha tells me all the time is that it's his job, even as my Master, to serve me... he does it by taking care of my needs and making sure everything stays in balance for me.
So I suppose in that way it's not really much different from what you both have.
*hugs*
turiya
ya what turiya said...LOL
Hugs to you alice on finding your own way!
hugs,
mouse
I was going to write a little comment about why I don't use the word slave, but it was turning into post size, so look for my next post on the word slave.
Oh I don't expect that every submissive would identify as a slave in a 24/7 relationship... even if the relationship and dynamics are very similar in some cases. I mean, I know some people just aren't comfortable with the term, especially because of it's history. And I do know there are those who identify as a slave and are very much a doormat. I just find it startling how many people in this lifestyle believe that someone who identifies as a slave must be a doormat.
Just so you know... I mean I don't want you to feel like I was suggesting that you should call yourself a slave simply because our dynamics in some ways are similar.
*hugs*
turiya
I think those are very important distinctions and I agree with the order.
Welcome to my blog Sir J! I've been enjoying reading yours and I hope you enjoy reading mine. I agree, it is important to make that distinction, at least for me. I'm glad I was able to recognize it and that Brandon and I were able to talk it through and agree.
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